The Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders (Princess Louise's)

Bullybeef and Oranges © Tom Barker

"What bursting anguish tears my heart!
From thee, my boatie, must I part!"
parody on "The Farewell", by Robert Burns

The 1st Bn Argyll & Sutherland Highlanders had landed in Palestine from "H.M.T. Somersetshire", after some initial skirmishes with one Arab youth in Haifa bay.

The Arab youth, on seeing the huge troopship docking, was intent on earning some extra baksheesh piastres (spare money) selling oranges to the pale faced "Swaddies" just out from "Blighty" lining the rails and now grinning down at the screaming Arab boy. The Arab youth was peering up at the faces lining the big ship rail, and catching the eye of one bloke, he warbled at the top of his voice,

“Ay hef oranges effendi, very sweet, very juicy, very fresh en’ ever so yum yum, o.k. Yo throw down money an’ I throw up oran-ges”

The bloke at the rail looked down and shouted back, “You throw up oranges and then we throw you money”

“No, no, Effendi, yo must throw down money to me first, O.K.”

The tiny boat that he sculled and steered with only one oar was so heavily loaded with oranges, that the heaving sea butting the massive bulk of the troop ship bounced off and some of the spray was splashing into the little boat. On seeing this, some of us pondered the fate of the little boat, but the Arab lad was so intent on selling his oranges he ignored all else.

Then the scene was spiced with a little more drama as one Argyll, a bit more mischievous than the rest, observed some small tins of bully beef (about the size of a fist) erupting from a crate that fell from the net that was being hoisted over the side onto a barge.

At about twenty feet up, the net attached to the hoist of the ship had split, a wooden crate fell and one of it’s corners hit the deck and split open scattering small tins of bully beef across the deck.

The Blokes lining the rails, on observing this mishap, were now shouting, “Throw up the oranges and we will throw down some tins of bully” But the Arab youth was adamant and cried,

“No, no, Effendi, you throw down bully, then I throw up oran-ges.”

Immediately, a shower of small tins of bully beef began falling on top of the oranges in the tiny boat and the youth in the boat was ducking and weaving so as not to get hit. With some tins plopping into the water and immediately sinking, the avalanche of bully tins suddenly ceased as an Officer of the Argylls suddenly appeared on the scene and demanded that the exercise ceased forthwith. He then began taking names of the bully throwers.

As more inquisitive Argylls crowded the rails, one, Danny McCormack, suddenly shouted,

“Say tarrah to oor new foon’ orange freen’ as his wee boat glides doon intae the briney en at!”

Then he stood to attention and saluted, as he mimed a bugle blowing the last post.

Sure enough, the Arab youth, who had been frantically trying to dump the extra weight of the newly acquired bully beef in wee tins, was stood there on his oranges as the wee boat slowly sank beneath him. It was only when the water was around his neck that he realized his wee boat was not coming back and he decided to swim for the dock side - about a hundred yards away.

The Officer watched as he crawled out of the water and all the blokes at the rails of the ship cheered and clapped their hands when they saw the youth was safe. Then the Officer grinned and put his notebook away. We waited and pondered what extra fatigues he would dream up, but we heard no more about it.

So that was just another of those small incidents that broke the monotony at times in the life of an Argyll, awa frae hame.